Bistro 185 in Cleveland was recommended to my by a number of people who said that it was a hidden gem that I must try.  I took my wife there for our anniversary after striking out at a couple of other Cleveland restaurants that were unexpectedly closed. 

I can’t drive down E.185 without recalling the times when my wife lived on the street and more specifically the time my brother performed one of the most ludicrous and heartwarming acts I have ever witnessed.  Since I’m sure most of you are only concerned with my meal at Bistro 185, I’ll put that story at the end of this post.

Hot Rod

As we pulled into the small parking lot next to Bistro 185 we saw a number of people gathering near the front of the building.  To our surprise we found that they were standing 15 feet away from what appeared to be a brand new car, parked into the middle of the street, engulfed in flames.

No one seemed too concerned that the car was literally melting before their eyes, but I thought it would be a good idea to avoid breathing in the black fumes that the others were so willfully taking in, so I pulled my wife through the crowd to the front door of Bistro 185. 

I think some of the staff was enjoying the show outside because we had to wait a few minutes before anyone noticed we were there, but eventually we were seated at a small table near the front window. A very friendly waitress arrived to get our drink order and recommend a couple of appetizers.  The chicken potstickers were my choice.

The potstickers were amazing.  Crispy on the outside, warm and tender on the inside. And they actually had chicken in them, not just vegetables.  What a novel idea.  Although they could have been eaten alone, the soy based dipping sauce was a fantastic blend of salty and sweet.

Dinner however was not as impressive. 

Between an Avocado and a Hard Place

I wanted to try something different for dinner, so although the braised lamb shank sounded great, I went with a fish dish.  A Chilean sea bass on rice with avocado salsa, it was beautifully presented and was a sizeable portion.  The fish was unfortunately overcooked causing it to be a bit chewy, but still edible.  I tried to improve the taste by placing some of the salsa on the fish, but that only made things worse. 

For some odd reason, whomever prepared the dish didn’t think it would be a problem to use completely unripe avocados in the salsa.  Said person must have been a complete moron.  The avocados crunched in my teeth.  Avocado is not supposed to crunch. 

My wife had ordered the chicken paprikash after I recommended the dish to her as one of the all-time classics.  I glanced over my glasses at her to secretly watch her first bite and the grimace on her face told the whole story.  She of  course made me try it and it didn’t taste anything like any chicken paprikash I’d ever had before, the spice mix was just a mess.

Might Still be Worth Another Try

Although the our dinners were pretty bad, I think I might still give Bistro 185 another try.  I really respect the people that have recommended this restaurant and while we were there  everyone was extremely nice to us, making us feel very at home.  If we had left after our appetizers, I would have raved about Bistro 185. 

Why I Love My Brother

This story goes back a few years now.  I was at the East 185th Street Festival with my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and my brother and his wife.  We were walking back to her apartment on Lakeshore Blvd. along E.185th when I saw a woman a bit ahead across the street fall to her knees.  I assumed that she was drunk, but I realized quickly there was a bit more to the story when, as she struggled to get up, a man came up behind her and shoved her to the ground. 

I pointed the situation out to my brother and we continued to watch as the man walked past her.  She got to her feet, wrestled with something on her hand and ran after the man.  The woman then screamed and pushed him, throwing something in his face.  We could hear the ping of metal hop down the street.  We assumed it was a ring.

As we did our best to get closer to the couple, the woman took off down the street and turned onto Meredith Ave.  After quickly finding whatever she threw, he hauled off down the street and around the corner. 

I told my brother that, “He’s gonna beat the hell out of her down there.” So we ran down the street after them. 

As soon as we turned the corner my we saw that my worst suspicions were true.  The guy was alternating between smashing her face on the brick wall and using it at a cheese grater.  She was screaming, “Stop.  Help me.  Somebody help me!”

I screamed, “Hey Asshole!  You wanna fight somebody, fight me!”

He immediately dropped her and looked at us.  My wife and sister-in-law had caught up to us by this time and I told them to call the police.  As they were getting out their phones they ran over to check on the woman who was laying in a pile on the sidewalk crying uncontrollably.

It was now a stand off between my brother, myself and this creep.  He was screaming at us.  We were screaming at him.  While he was a pretty big guy, he was noticeably drunk so his words were slurred and his stance was wobbly at best. 

Although I wouldn’t have minded taking a shot at the guy, I really didn’t feel like getting into a fight, so my plan was to just keep the guy there until the police came.  We kept moving around him to keep him stationary without touching him, but he was quite aggressive and he kept trying to push us.

At one point I glanced over to see my sister-in-law looking for a street name to direct the police.  It was also at this point that the woman realized that she might be in a position to get her significant other in quite a bit of trouble once the police arrived, so she tried to take off. 

By now, this guy was just pissed that we were in his business.  I personally think that he made it my business by beating his wife in public, but what the hell do I know.  He was really getting angry and he was focusing his anger on us.  I did what I could to try and talk to him, but it was no use. 

As I was trying to explain that we weren’t going to do anything to him, but that we wanted to have him wait till the police came, he shoved me.  I put my hands up and said, “Just relax, it will only be a few minutes until the police get here.”  That’s when he reared back and punched me square in the chin.

I was more shocked than anything and it didn’t really hurt because he hit me from the side allowing my swiveling neck to absorb the impact.  I think he was shocked too because he just stood there looking at me.  But that’s when it happened.

It seemed like time stood still after I was hit, with all of my focus on this guy I wasn’t paying attention to my brother.  All of the sudden I heard him rumble, “Nobody hits my brother!”  And he came flying into my frame of vision with a fist extended that landed right on the side of this jerk’s head.  I swear to God it sounded like he hit him with an aluminum bat.  The guy crumbled to the ground like he had no leg bones.

My brother stood over him for a second and then he turned flashing me a smile, “Asshole.”

The guy wasn’t going anywhere so our attention turned to our wives who were trying to do everything they could to get this woman to stay without holding her down.  But it did little good, she eventually took off.

The guy my brother knocked out started making some noise so we jumped on top of him, so he didn’t go anywhere.  He was big enough to make it a difficult task though and he was just about to the point where we couldn’t hold him down anymore when a group of big badass bikers came along to ask what we were doing. 

“We caught this guy beating the crap out of his wife and we’re holding him until the police get here.  Will you help us?”

”You son of a bitch!”

That’s all it took before we were thrown off the guy and he had 5 giant bikers grinding his face into the pavement.

Not long after that the police came and got everyone’s story.  They arrested the guy and went looking for his wife.  They said they couldn’t do anything until they got her to press charges against him. 

The police tracked her down a few blocks away, but she tried to run away from them too.  Not a good move.  They arrested her for running away from the police, but once they brought her back, she refused to press charges against him. 

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so pissed at someone.  15 minutes before the guy was smashing her face into a brick wall and now they are so in love.  What a moron. 

Luckily, that jerk punched me, so I went over to the cop to ask if I can press charges against him.  The cop smiled big and said, “Yes, you can.”  That was enough to put those two in jail for the night and from what I heard from the prosecutor’s office they both had some hefty fines along with probation.  Good for them.  I hope they rot.

And that folks, as long as it maybe, is one of the many reasons I love my brother.  I can still hear that, “Nobody hits my brother” as if it happened last night and it always brings a smile to my face.  An incredibly fruity thing to say which I have reminded him about numerous times, but pretty awesome nonetheless.

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It’s New Years Eve people and luckily I don’t believe they are going to trot out the pathetic soul that Dick Clark has become.  I know, I know, nothing put me in a better mood than watching a major network violate the sanctity of human dignity by making a guy who had a stroke give a New Year’s Eve speech just so they can use his name to promote a garbage show.

I’m going to be down in the ATL for New Years, but no, there will be no rollerskating. 

Thank you all for a great year, it has been our best yet.  We’re looking forward to doing a lot more next year, but you’ve got to be around to enjoy it.  So be safe out there tonight, don’t end up like that broad at the top of the post.  Remember, it’s hard to get vomited foie gras out of a white shirt.

Mashed potatoes are soooo 1975 and it’s almost 2009 people, so lets cut that crap out and start making something tasty.  Mashed butternut squash is as easy to make as mashed potatoes, but butternut squash has about 10 times the flavor.  Plus they go with pretty much every meal with which you’d have mashed potatoes.

The first thing you need to do is break down the butternut squash which is by far the hardest part as well as the part where you’re most likely to cut off one of your fingers.  Check out this video from Roni over at Greenlitebites on how to break down a butternut squash without requiring a trip to the emergency room.  Because I’ll tell you right now, if you do cut yourself and you go into the emergency room triage telling them that you did it cutting up a squash, they are going to make your ass wait till the end of eternity to see a doctor that only speaks a foreign language which by the time you do you’ll have contracted every disease known to mankind sitting with all of those sick people in the waiting room.

Once you’ve got it cut, you’re ready to make any of the plethora of butternut squash recipes that are scattered across these here Interwebs.  Skip the ones that call for adding brown sugar or syrup though, the butternut squash doesn’t need it.

Here are a few good reads for those of you pretending to work today:

You know what sounds really healthy?  A cheese bacon roll-up.  Mmm.

Pastatatta?  Italian strip-club or delicious alternative to quiche?

How to improve a hamburger in one easy step:  Make the buns grilled cheese sandwiches.

Yeah, down with grocery stores! WTF?

I love when people substitute meat for cake.  Cake continues to suck.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (2009).  We hope that you have a wonderful Holiday season filled with joy, laughter & GOOD FOOD!       

Best Wishes from us at Eating Cleveland

Photo By:  felix42

We have chosen the winner of the Recipe Contest.  Drum role please… 

And the winner of the recipe contest is: Dave Whittaker.  Dave posted his favorite family recipe.  Here is the winning recipe.  I hope that every one will try this recipe.  It truly is spectacular!!

Wine Braised Pork Cheeks with Cheesy Grits & Vegetables

3 lbs pork cheeks, trimmed
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon celery seed
Salt & pepper, to taste
2 T Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 large onion
4 garlic cloves, chopped
Chili’s to taste
1 lb oyster mushrooms
3 carrots, cut to desired size
1 T tomato paste
½ bottle red wine (I used a grenache/tempranillo blend)
Water

Combine herbs & spices & rub on pork cheeks, allow to sit for 30 minutes or more.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Heat a Dutch Oven or large oven safe pan over medium high heat. Add EVOO and allow to get hot. Add pork cheeks and sear until brown on all sides.
Add onion, garlic, chili, mushrooms, carrots, tomato paste, wine, and top off with water until everything is covered.
Cover and put in preheated oven and bake for an hour & a half.
While this is cooking, prepare the cheese grits (recipe below).
Strain out the solids and cover with aluminum foil.
Deglaze the pan with some wine and add back the rest of the liquid. Bring to a slow simmer and allow to reduce to the desired consistency for gravy. Season with salt & pepper.

Cheese Grits

2 cups whole milk
2 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 cup coarse ground cornmeal
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 ounces sharp Cheddar, shredded

Place the milk, water, and salt into a large, heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat and bring to a boil. Once the milk mixture comes to a boil, gradually add the cornmeal while continually whisking. Once all of the cornmeal has been incorporated, decrease the heat to low and cover. Remove lid and whisk frequently, every 3 to 4 minutes, to prevent grits from sticking or forming lumps; make sure to get into corners of pot when whisking. Cook for 20 to 25 minutes or until mixture is creamy.

Remove from the heat, add the pepper and butter, and whisk to combine. Once the butter is melted, gradually whisk in the cheese a little at a time.

Plate some pork & veggies, drizzled with gravy, next to the grits, along with a nice glass of wine. Enjoy!

Dave we will be getting in contact with you to send your your Our Town and All Around Coupon Book.  A big Thank You to those participated. 

Christmas is only a few days away now and if you want to make sure your family doesn’t ask you too many questions this year, make sure their mouths are always full.  Try some of our best recipes:

• Chipotle Bacon Mashed Potatoes
• Easy Mushroom Tart
• Markaroni and Cheese, Cheese
• Homemade Cavatelli
• Homemade Pierogies
• Panzanella Bread Salad
• Homemade Applesauce
• Homemade Cheese Crackers
• Homemade Corn Tortillas
• Lime Sorbet
• Cranberry Cookies

Now is apparently a great time to order lobsters.  I know, I know.  Who doesn’t have have a fat wad of cash sitting around to buy some pretty little arthropods?  I mean, the stock markets been rollin’ lately.

But it is true.  Lobsters are cheap.  With the economic downturn smacking everyone in the pocketbook, those fancy business types aren’t buying all of the lobster they used to.  That’s good for lobster prices.

The New York Times reports that lobster prices are the lowest they have been in 25 years!  Coming in at about $3 less a pound than they were last year, it might be a good time to head to your local fish market to pick up a few for dinner. 

Photo: fchosson

We have decided to extend the Recipe Contest an extra week until this Friday, Dec. 19th. We are looking for the best recipe in the area to win the Our Town & All Around Coupon Book and a spot in the EatingCleveland Favorites cookbook. 

Keep those recipes coming…. I can’t wait to see what you send in!

This post, maybe more than any other, will highlight what a true jackass I am.  My mother-in-law will probably have this printed out and hung-up on her fridge.

I don’t know what I watching, but I saw someone on television throw together a very nice looking potato tart with sliced and layered potatoes.  It looked so easy.  Slice the potatoes, layer them with with a bit of salt and pepper and top with some chopped bacon.  That will take 10 minutes I said. 

Well, it turns out that my first mistake was being a complete lazy S.O.B.  I didn’t take the two minutes to peel the potatoes.  Stupid.  I figured that the potatoes were going to be sliced so thin that the little bit of peel would be inconspicuous, no way you’d ever be able to taste it.  Little did I realize that all of those little pieces of peel added up to a lot of peel that made eating the thing a trying experience.  I might as well have just strung a whole box of dental floss through the thing. 

Although the peel wasn’t very appetizing it certainly didn’t prevent me from eating it.  The salt did that. 

On television, the person placed salt and pepper on top of every layer, so I did too.  As I was putting it together I thought that it might be a bit too much salt, but they are potatoes and they can probably take quite a bit. 

Nope. It tasted horrible.  It was so incredibly salty, nothing could be done to correct it.  So I did what any intelligent person would have done, I threw cut it up and threw it on my front porch to melt the ice.

I only kid.  I wouldn’t want to kill any of the numerous cats that roam my neighborhood. Ok, maybe I would.